Cupidopolis

The New Year often signifies new beginnings for us. It is an opportunity to rethink our lives and promise ourselves to fix what we think needs to be improved upon. Hence New Years Resolutions. I think a resolution is always a good thing. It need not be done just at new year but at anytime of year. A resolution is exactly what it implies - resolve to maintain something.

In today’s day and age we are all health & green focused and it would not be unusual to find that most resolutions will be health focused or world focused. Now it is all very well to say that as of today, I will eat my 5 a day every day, walk everywhere and catch buses instead of drive, quit smoking and drinking and lose weight in the process. Truth is if you currently don’t do any of these, well suddenly doing all this will be an impossible chore. If you actually manage to maintain your resolution until the end of the week I would be majorly impressed. It is always far better to chose one resolution and stick by it no matter what, even when the going gets tough. And it will get tough. After all, if it were easy, you would not need to strengthen your resolve. And only when it has become part and parcel, should you attempt to add another resolution. And if you think you cracked it in a week… think again! The minimum amount of time it will take before it can be considered habitual is 9 weeks. Having said that I believe it is better to be prudent and give it a minimum of 3 months. And even then you need to keep a watchful eye. After all it is always easier to slip into a bad habit. Usually because bad habits taste betters, are easier or simply more fun!!

I wish you the very best with your resolution(s) and hope that your find the strength and perseverance to stick to it!

New Year is time for a new begining. We are all entitled to second chances. So take this moment to grab your second chance now. Set out a resolution and stick to it. Don’t make many and keep none. It is better to make one resolution and stick to it no matter how hard. Your perserverance will pay off.

And in case you read this at some point in the future… now is as good time as any to make a resolution. The trick is to start NOW… not tomorrow… not next week… NOW!!

Good Luck

Merry Christmas to everyone at Cupidopolis. May you have a peaceful Christmas.

Christmas is always a stressful time. There is the preparing for it, the inevitable guests and all the extra financial expense. Considering that Christmas is actually just one day… the advice I am going dispense is to step back, take a deep breathe and put it all in perspective.

It is just ONE day!

Get everyone to contribute to the whole festivities, plan as much as you can in advance and last but not least try to enjoy Christmas.

“Things are going better these days. I blew up at him and it seemed for the first time he realized how big of an issue this is. Every since then, he has been amazing. If I ask him questions about it, he answers honestly, even if he knows it will hurt my feelings. I’m almost positive he has only “slipped up” twice since July, and even then it was minor.

However, this whole situation ruined my libido. I am angry at the way this has affected us. I don’t look at him the same way anymore, and I don’t want him to touch me. I love him more than anything in the world, but our physical relationship has disappeared.

I’m considering counseling for that problem, because I want this to work and I know he does as well. Wish us luck.”

Hi. It is nice to hear that things are actually going quite well. It is never easy especially when pulling yourselves out of a bad patch. Generally it is always easier to sink than swim but you seem to both be swimming.

Counselling can help. But meanwhile you might also find that trying to start anew might help. I know it is not really possible to start from scratch but going out for dates (like when you first started dating) and doing things together (even if washing the dishes), preparing a special meal and lighting the room with Circle E Candles can bring on a touch of romance… which in turn can do wonders for your relationship.

Love is always worth working for… and as long as you both are happy to work for it… you will both prosper. You will have both ups and downs but treasure the ups and work through the downs. You do seem to have something worth the effort. I do wish you both the very best and if you need anything, do not hesitate to contact me again.

Can you believe Christmas is upon us once again. Christmas is probably the most stressful time of year, yet it is supposed to be about family, time together and peace. Personally I tend to treat Christmas like a mini wedding. You need to plan it full scale and schedule what you need to do… so you can enjoy the big day. 

With a wedding you book the date, hall, buy the clothes, wedding favors, order food etc.

Same goes for Christmas (date is fixed and usually so is place - otherwise you would not be stressing), so you need to fit in buying / ordering the food, buying the presents (before Christmas eve - draw up a list) and planning it out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. After all it is a time for family… and sharing the chores gives you all more time together to do fun stuff!!

Now for me to take my own advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I am a new mum and I cannot seem to comfort my baby. It is driving me nuts!”

Most mums often feel stressed with a new baby. You are expected to be overjoyed and ecstatic all the time and it would be the case if new mums were not so sleep deprived. Start by taking all the help that you can get whether it is someone looking after the little one for an hour while you get some rest or even if they make you a cup of tea instead of you offering your visitors who come round to visit the baby!

Babies Cry. It is what they do. Sometimes it can be because they suffer from colic (have this checked out with your health visitor). But often they simply need a cuddle. Wrapping a baby in their baby bedding can be very comforting to the baby.

I would also speak to your health visitor in case you are also suffering a touch of baby blues!

Getting married is more stressful than most brides would care to admit. It is pretty normal to find that you end up tearing your hair out because you cannot decide on which unique wedding favors you are going to choose and if you want chocolate cake or fruit cake. Then worrying about the hair that you pulled out!

Seriously speaking, getting married should be a wonderful time. It is not worth getting stressed about it. Take it one step at a time and enjoy every moment. After all, it is not everyday that you get married. Enjoy it and relax!

“We are getting married but my fiance does not want a wedding ring. How can I change his mind?”

For starters, I don’t think this should be about changing his mind. Perhaps there is a reason that he does not want one. For example rings can be dangerous if you work in carpentry. It could be deeper underlying things such as not wanting to be tied down. If this is the case, you really need to speak. So start by finding out why he does not want a ring. It might be a perfectly acceptable reason.

Once you have spoken about it. You can explain how it is symbolic and traditional to exchange rings. If it is about style, you could show him a catalogue of mens wedding rings. It does not even have to be gold and perhaps you can have a matching one. You could also consider perhaps exchanging a watch in lieu of a ring. You do have options, but you need to find out why he does not want a ring first!

Good Luck and Congratulations!

“When my boyfriend meets up with his friends I keep being ignored. When they are around they are always talking about things like Yamaha rhino parts, racing, bikes, sports and so on. Yet when he joins my friends he always grumbles. I am getting really irritated. Any suggestions?”

Glad to hear it is not a serious issue, especially if this is your only problem. A couple of suggestions include :-

• Have your mates days on the same day - both sets together should give a better balanced conversation.
• You meet your friends while he meets his friends on the same day and neither of you lose out.
• Take a female friend with you when you meet his friends. He should also do the same.
• Speak to your friends girlfriends - they probably have more friendly conversation and are probably in your situation!
• Last but not least speak to your boyfriend because he might also have a suggestion or two!

Good Luck!