My husband ignores me

“My husband comes home, eats and goes straight to his computer. He is there all night and only comes to bed when he is knackered. I feel like he is a piece of the furniture. I cannot seem to get his attention. It is really begining to bother me.”

Ever considered there may be reasons why he does that. Before you do anything, first examine everything else. If you think there are no other reasons for his withdrawal, then play his game.

  • Go on MSN and chat him up
  • Ask to play a 2 player game with him
  • Bet you can beat him at his game
  • Send him raunchy pictures of you implying things to come

And if all fails – UNPLUG him!

62 thoughts on “My husband ignores me

  1. Hi, my name is Annette
    My husband gets onto his computer before work and when he comes back from work. He has supper with me then he goes onto the computer until 2-5 in the mornings – then I have a hard time waking him up for work.
    I started watching TV while he is on the computer and when I tell him he spends too much time on the computer, he tells me that I do the same by watching too much TV. He also tell me not to try and change him as that is the way I met him.
    We are only intimate when he is ready which is once a year … maybe. It used to bug me but now I am sooo happy about it as I feel nothing for him. We have been married for 14 years and I am contemplating a divorce but I am a housewife with no money. I do not get any money from him …I sadly have to admit that I have to steal money from him to help other people in need as I am a giver but now I am not allowed to look after my frail sick Mother either who lives right next to me (2 months now). She is not allowed to watch TV with me or spend time with me – he reckons she is the reason for our bad marriage – go figure!

  2. Talk about being ignored !!!!
    We have been married 40 plus years and the last 30 I have been ignored. We hadn’t had sex, touched, or had a decent conversation in all those years. Theres been no dates, weekends away or even any really vacations. I thought he was having an affair or gay but that was not the case. He just wants me to leave him alone Were on a fixed income but have good medical perks. He has been seeing a shrink and from what he can tell he had a very lonely life, his mom and dad faught all the time and there was never any love from his parents toward him and all that resentment has flowed to the top of his life. I’ve tryed to get him to open up but all he says is leave me alone, and I never want to talk about it. Its terrible being with a person who doesn’t have any feelings toward you.

  3. I’ve been reading all of your emails, and in a way, its good to know I am not the only one out there.
    On the other hand it prouves the market for a good man is getting slimmer by the day.
    I should have left a long time ago when this all started – its true what they say – somethings never change.
    Unfortunatly now I am commited to a mortgage and 2 step-teenagers {who we recently got sole custody of}; and torn between the hurt and neglect versus the commitment I have to them.
    I should have made good my threat before we passed year number 10 – which by the way was spent 2000 miles apart-
    And now I sit here alone in the kitchen – each child in their perspective rooms, and me avoiding my bedroom because “he” is in there with my black plastic competition {which incidentally, applies to both his blackberry and his computer- neither of which he could go a day with out}

  4. Men can’t live without them and don’t go near them!!

    Or at least don’t live with one until you KNOW FOR SURE they are able to communicate like a grown up and he has a level of emotional maturity that is conducive to giving and receiving love and affection.

    Honestly I have read all the comments. Some ladies sound patient, a little angry, a lot angry, scared, frustrated, emotionally abused, neglected, sad, lonely, very unhappy. I’m personally livid and I find myself in an impossible dependent situation and I detest it.

    When i manage to escape this nightmare, i honestly don’t think i will be able to trust another male again. I find men heartless, weak and shallow (well the ones I have met) and incredibly ugly and selfish. I’m left genuinely emotionally drained and I have nothing left for myself after 7 years of compromise and waiting. Cannot see the wood for the trees now as I have been brainwashed and abused emotionally for soo long. Never again when I get out. NEVER AGAIN!! Sorry to be so negative but these are my true feelings and they are hell to live with/think this is the point of the chat. No one wants to hear the truth I find, not really. Everybodies scared to death. WHY???

  5. I am 70 years old and i got married for the second time 18 months ago. I was married to my first husband for 50 years but found out he was cheating on me for most of our marriage.
    my second marriage started off good but no he spends all of his time on his lap top, what have i done, where do i go now?

  6. I don’t even know where to begin. I cannot believe the amount of women who are goin through the same thing I am. Unfortunately, my husband and I have only been married 3 months. It’s awful and I can’t take it anymore. He leaves for work at 8 am, comes home at 10-11 pm, sits with me for 30 minutes, and goes on the computer for another few hours until 3 or 4 am, every weekday. I’m passed out by then. I used to be supportive, but now I do get upset. And at this point, he just doesn’t even speak to me, talk to me on the phone, call me from work to say hello (and that’s a long time not calling your wife), every day he comes home from work he walks in on the phone with a different friend yet he can’t talk to me, and now we sleep in seperate bedrooms. I lost my job last October and I’ve been depressed ever since. I know he has a lot of work to do, but he’s really put me and this relationship on the backburner and refuses to face that. I’m home alone all day and without his love and support it’s killing me. Please help. I don’t know what to do. I knew what I was getting into when he got a new job and had to work more hours, but that’s not the reason. He’s running from something and burying himself in his work.

  7. wow. When I say “wow”, I’m just very surprised that so many people (including myself) are having the same problems. Can I ask a question? How many women out there have cheated or thought about it just to get some fun out of life?

    Jae, I have replied to your question here.

  8. My husband wont communicate he says a good relationship shouldn’t have to i thought conversation is.i am 9 mths preg for a long time he doesn’t touch me he gives me 1 kiss a day on the cheek before work thats takes him 1 hr to get home he doesn’t tell me anything n if i ask he is snappy if i talk to him he ignores me n stares at t.v. I never get a hug even if i ask then when i try to give him 1 he doesn’t hold me back everyday i cry silently. When i talk to him he walks off he wont even look at bed he turns his back,i dont discuss our problems.i told him i dnt wnt anything from him just love.

  9. Mysterygal I have left a reply for you here.

    I will slowly leave posts / replies with everyone’s questions / comments in due course! Keep checking the site.

  10. It baffles me to see that many women are suffering the same way like me,i have been married to my husband for 7 yrs now he is in the u.s and i am in africa he came to see me three times since we got married,last year he cheated on me whiles he was here, i needed evidence so i started searching untill i got my proof that he was cheating,wen he found out that i knew he ignored me wen i call him he does not talk to me or he claims to be busy i am so sad and i cry all the time.

    Fatim – I have left a reply for you here

  11. Its a sad sad situation,same here with me,he comes home past 12 midnight from work,go check and play games in his computer,did not even check me and our kid if we are still alive in the room,just there in the living room so busy on his computer,he knows that Im upset,nothing happened,you think he would stopped on what he was doing?NEVER…like I was just talking to a wall,and then goes to bed,saying he was sorry,I told him,sorry means nothing if you keep on doing the same thing all over again,Im very upset because I always support respected and love him and yet he cannot be man enough to be mature and focus on important things than his computer games.I wish I was just numb,Or maybe one day I will not care anymore,I kept telling him,You can go back to your Mother,.Im upset,he doesnt know how to respect me as his wife.

    I have left a reply for you here

  12. I’ve been married 47 years and that is exactly how many years I’ve been ignored. I didn’t know this before we were married, we never had sex but we did hold hands and kiss once in a while. I honestly think I never turned him on before we were married, I tryed but nothing happened.
    We did have sex once on our wedding night and that was the last time for sex, loving, togetherness, intimacy and anything that married people should do. I believe he was the first one to invent the man cave because right after our wedding night he moved to the basement and I was told to leave him alone and don’t talk to him. I screamed and pleaded with him, and I said some things that I never say but said any way. He just tuned around went to the basement and closed the door. I do know he was working night for years like 45 years, and worked all holidays, weekends, and never really took vacation, he never missed a day of work and dis owned our families. I thought he might be gay or he was poking some little whore on the side. I would have been really upset but would have known he had love for some one or thing. I hired detectives on a lot of occasions but was told I was wasting my money and that he was the most boring person to watch. He did nothing except go to work and personal stuff, he had no friends and went no where. I do know he hasn’t any phone, computer, radio, TV nothing to communicate with the outside world. He just stays cooped up in his garage doing what ever loners do. I have no idea why I stayed, I guess I felt sorry for myself, no where to go, and thought my life was over. I visit my shrink once every two weeks and take anti-depressants every day. In my high 60s now and I still feel sorry a worthless about myself. I know he ruined my life along with myself and I hope it will end in the near future. Tomorrow would be great !!!!!!!

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