Cupidopolis

“My husband wants me to get him National Final Rodeo tickets for his birthday, and he wants me to go with him. I am not sure that I want to go. Should I just buy him something else?”

I am not going to say what you should do and what you should not do. What I am going to do is give you some points to ponder and some other possible options. The choice will be up to you.

First of all, just buying him another gift without consulting him, seems a bit disrespectful. He is also likely to be very disappointed if he got a different gift especially if it is something which does not appeal to him.

Have you considered getting him a couple of tickets and suggesting he takes a friend who will appreciate it instead of you?

Try to speak to him and tell him how you feel. You might be surprised what other options he might come up with.

Last but not least, consider going with him. Perhaps he can return the favour and go with you somewhere he is not keen to go eg the ballet or theatre or that Spice Girls concert! It is a win win situation!

It is not always about sad things. Birthdays are a great way of marking someone’s birthday. It is a way of saying, you know I am really happy that you were born. You make a difference to my life.

There are many ways of marking someone’s birthday and they need not cost the earth. Make a card, bake a cake or even buy a small token gift that could be appreciated. Even sending a text can make that person’s day. So don’t forget anyone’s birthday!

Unfortunately we all pass through loss and bereavement. It is never easy and it is always painful. But time is a great healer. Before we can begin to feel normal, we do need to go through a grieving process. There are 5 stages to getting through your grief.

1. Denial - This is when you are still in shock and cannot quiet believe that it has happened.
2. Anger - This stage you get angry about the loss. You feel that it is not fair.
3. Bargaining - Here you wish you can change places with someone else, or plea for more time. Unfortunately, most bargaining here is pointless or not possible.
4. Depression - This is when it really hits you and you feel hopeless and often useless. You often feel like there no longer is any point to anything.
5. Acceptance - This is the final stage, where you finally accept the situation and begin to continue with the rest of your life.

Once you have reached acceptance, this does not mean that you no longer feel pain but that you begin to cope and accept it. Honestly it does get easier. If at any stage, you feel you cannot cope, do speak to friends or family or a counsellor. Speaking about it is a good way to work through your grief and help you cope.

I know it does not sound realistic, but time is a great healer, I promise!

“I was in a shop and ended up getting hurt. I cannot do much till I get better and I am feeling depressed. I was told that I could sue them and get some money.”

You could get try to go to court and get Commercial Lawsuit Finance but I am not the best person to speak to. You should ideally speak to a lawyer. However, you should be aware that even if you are awarded a sum of money this might not make any difference to how you are feeling. You might wish to mention it to your lawyers, as they may be able to organise finance to fund some therapy dealing with your depression.