“I don’t even know where to begin. I cannot believe the amount of women who are goin through the same thing I am. Unfortunately, my husband and I have only been married 3 months. It’s awful and I can’t take it anymore. He leaves for work at 8 am, comes home at 10-11 pm, sits with me for 30 minutes, and goes on the computer for another few hours until 3 or 4 am, every weekday. I’m passed out by then. I used to be supportive, but now I do get upset. And at this point, he just doesn’t even speak to me, talk to me on the phone, call me from work to say hello (and that’s a long time not calling your wife), every day he comes home from work he walks in on the phone with a different friend yet he can’t talk to me, and now we sleep in seperate bedrooms. I lost my job last October and I’ve been depressed ever since. I know he has a lot of work to do, but he’s really put me and this relationship on the backburner and refuses to face that. I’m home alone all day and without his love and support it’s killing me. Please help. I don’t know what to do. I knew what I was getting into when he got a new job and had to work more hours, but that’s not the reason. He’s running from something and burying himself in his work.”
Unfortunately with the economic climate sometimes you just have to work, work and work. It does not help that you have lost you job too, which means that his job is ever more important. So you really must not hold his job against him. This is not to say there isn’t what to hold against him. But let me 2 step answer this.
1. Losing your job has affected your confidence. Getting a job is hard and not getting a job will knock on your confidence. Try volunteering somewhere. It will help you feel worthwhile, help a good cause and may even help you find a job in turn.
2. He is making an effort to spend some time with you even if it is only half an hour. But he also needs to have time to himself too, so do not begrudge him this (though staying up so late is burning the candle at both ends). But with all his work, perhaps you could do some extra work on the relationship. Send him a saucy text when he is at work, cook a candle lit dinner, make a date or even pop a note or photo into his wallet! Once you re-ignite the passion, start to talk… you might find that he just might open up about what ever is bothering him!