Cupidopolis

“We are getting married but my fiance does not want a wedding ring. How can I change his mind?”

For starters, I don’t think this should be about changing his mind. Perhaps there is a reason that he does not want one. For example rings can be dangerous if you work in carpentry. It could be deeper underlying things such as not wanting to be tied down. If this is the case, you really need to speak. So start by finding out why he does not want a ring. It might be a perfectly acceptable reason.

Once you have spoken about it. You can explain how it is symbolic and traditional to exchange rings. If it is about style, you could show him a catalogue of mens wedding rings. It does not even have to be gold and perhaps you can have a matching one. You could also consider perhaps exchanging a watch in lieu of a ring. You do have options, but you need to find out why he does not want a ring first!

Good Luck and Congratulations!

We all struggle with emotions. Some people suppress them, others need to cry to let it all out, while others just try to work through them as they happen.

As long as you are happy with the way you deal with your emotions, then that is great. The only exception would be with suppression. The reason is that you keep suppressing and supressing, till one day the smallest thing would just be too much to handle and it all comes out. It can be much harder to handle then. So do find a way to deal with your emotions whether by talking about it, writing a journal or even just having a good cry!

You would be surprised at how many people are unhappy with their breast size. It all stems from the media and their idea of perfect. If the media had their way, We would all be size 00, tall leggy blondes with pert perfect breasts in a size 34DD.

Breast size really can range from completely flat chested to back achingly big. No matter what size someone is, their breasts will fall into one of the categories of too big / too small / too droopy / too unnatural / etc.

In fact most breasts are not even equally sized. Often the difference is minimal but sometimes the difference could be a couple of cup sizes or more.

The truth is that nature intended breasts for feeding infants, and no matter what natural size you are… you will be able to breast feed. Breasts also keep changing over time. And as for the talk of men prefering bigger breasts to small ones… that is all it is… talk. Men are simply happy with breasts, no matter the size.

It is not easy to learn to love our bodies with all the media portrays but by learning to accept our bodies and learning to love our bodies, it will make us enjoy our bodies more. It will in turn lead us to leading a happier life.

Seeking treatment is always a good step. The first session is always about taking notes. In fact that is the reason that the first session is often free and it is not as such a session but an exploration.

You explain why you are there and the psychiatrist / psychologist takes notes and asks questions. You should mention at this point any symptoms, feelings, and your wishes. Your being “happy” is what it is all about, and if you are not happy with your counsellor, then your treatment is likely to face difficulties.

The first session is also about exploring your options with the doctor or counsellor. If you are not happy with them, do consider another one. Being happy with your counsellor is a must if treatment is to be as successful as possible.

Do not worry about what you say, because it will all be confidential. And unless you are an imminent danger to yourself or to others, they will not commit you to a hospital, especially not on a first visit.

Doing new things is always scary but seeking help is always good.

Good luck.

Depression is an intense feeling of sadness, often accompanied by lack of motivation, tears and irritability. A large percentage of us will go through some form of depression at one point or another. There are different levels of depression and different levels of treatment for depression.

The most common form of treatment is by prescription drugs called antidepressants. Antidepressants work by suppressing the hormones that make us feel depressed and sad.

Different dosages, different brands, all work differently on different people. On a high enough dosage, a person could be pretty knocked out but most prescribed dosages are a fine balance between dealing with the depression and not blocking other emotions. Often, the issues blocking other emotions are not caused by the antidepressants themselves, but a lack of motivation / disability to deal with the problem actually causing the depression.

If you are on antidepressants and feel knocked out, speak to your doctor, who will perhaps change your brand or give you a lower dosage.

Any effects by the antidepressants do wear off once use of the tablets is stopped, despite the fact that antidepressants can be seen as being addictive. This is because by being on them you can avoid dealing with your actual issues causing the depression, as well as the fact that when you come off them, the reality is still harsh and life on them is a little more simplified as your hormones are “quieter”.

There are other ways to help elevate mild depression without use of drugs and believe it or not these include behaviour therapy, dealing with the source of your depression, a little exercise (where your blood really starts pumping) and a little sunshine.

Ideally one uses more than one method to treat depression. And remember antidepressants should be prescribed by a medical practitioner (GP or Psychiatrist).

Do you know when to walk away? Do you know when to let go? Do you know how to say NO?

More often than not we do not know when to walk away or when to let go or when to say No. We often need to take a step back, review the situation and think about what to do next. Sometimes it might be the hardest thing to do, but knowing you need to take a step in a different direction is already a first step which means you are on your way already.

Betting can often be a problem if it gets out of hand. And although there are groups such as gambler anonymous, the point is to not arrive into the situation where you do become a compulsive gambler. Gambling problems are never an easy issue to broach, but if not dealt with can arise into very serious serious problems such as huge financial debts, lies, family problems and stress related issues.

This does not go to say that you should not gamble. After all I seriously believe in a democratic society and freedom of choice. After all a quick flutter can raise your heart rate and give you a sense of excitement. It can even give you a really nice feel good feeling, that can actually even be good for you.

Even simply buying a lottery ticket is gambling, yet most people who buy a ticket are buying a dream. At least for until the draw, you can think “If I win… I will pay my bills, buy a house, get that new gadget, take a round the world holiday, etc !”

The key to gambling is moderation. Good Luck!

Someone recently expressed an opinion that in today’s society if you are not savvy with computers, you begin to border on illiteracy. It is assumed that most people can read and write. And with every day that passes, there is a growing consensus to expect people to have IT access from email to being able to browse websites. I did ponder about it and realised how true that is. In todays world, we do rely on technology and if we cannot use it, it does affect our lives negatively. Thankfully with all the courses around, we are able to ensure that we are able to make the most of technology available. Oh, and the fact that you are reading this (unless printed out on a piece of paper) means that you too have at least begun to get to grips with IT. Congratulations!

I cannot help but wonder how many visitors actually come to this website, and how many people actually benefit from my advice. I have been thinking of installing a free hit counter but that would only tell me how many people visit the site. It is up to you my visitors to tell me what you think. Do feel free to leave comments and email any problems you have. I cannot promise to answer all problems, but I will do my best.

Smiling is a good way to improve your mental health without much effort. Not only that, you will also make other people happy.

Try it. It is really easy. Stretch your lips and curve them upwards. Go on. You can do it. A little bit more. You are nearly there!

See how much better you are feeling already!