Cupidopolis

“It is my parents 25th Anniversary and I am stuck for a gift. You see I never imagined they would make it to this stage as they fight a lot. I don’t just want to pick any odd thing but at the same time I want it special. I don’t want to get them a present each either. It feels almost wrong to buy them a gift as they fight so much!”.

Sometimes fighting is what makes the relationship. The fact that they made it to 25 years, especially in a day and age where divorce is so readily available, says something for them. Just because they argue a lot does not mean they don’t love each other. In fact they proved just how special their relationship is by having been together 25 years. You really should celebrate this great occasion.

Their 25th is their Silver Anniversary, so I would recommend getting them something silver. A good couple of silver gifts ideas could be salt & pepper which could represent their contrasts and their being complimentary. Or perhaps a frame with a sentimental photo of perhaps their wedding day.

And most importantly don’t forget to congratulate them. It is not easy reaching such a milestone, especially if they have such an emotional relationship.

It is not unheard of that a person finds out that a child they thought was theirs, is not actually their biological child. This does not mean that the child is no longer theirs. The child will know the parent as their parent and the love a child has for their parents knows no limit. Often these hurt parents retaliate by abandoning the kids but this means that the child gets hurt in the process.

The child might not be biologically theirs but before they knew that the child was not biologically theirs, did they not grow to love the child? Seeing it from a different perspective, an adopted child is not biologically the adoptive parents but do they love them any less… NO! So essentially there is no difference.

The thing to remember is the child is the one who will be hurt the most by the whole situation.

“I walked in on my daughter masturbating. How do I handle it?”.

Masturbation is normal and healthy. It was probably embarrassing for the both of you. You should take this opportunity to bring up safe sex and to be forthcoming about sex. Having an open parent is always great and statistically shows than children with open parents are less likely to have teenage pregnancy or other sexual issues.

It is the end of the scholastic year and a number of teenagers will be leaving school. This is always a major milestone for both the parents and the school leaver.

Leaving school is a step into adult-hood and into the real world. Decisions about what to do with one’s life comes into play, and they should not be taken lightly by either the parent or the school leaver. A school consellor can help with career paths but the psychological path must be edged on by the parents.

This is definately not a time to under estimate the emotional upheaval of the whole stage. Talking about it always helps. Remember this is a truly positive time.

“I think my son is a homosexual. His dad would disown him and I am not sure how I feel. How do I deal with it?”.

First of all, until you are sure, there is very little you can do other than broach the subject with your son.

As for your feelings, does it really make a difference to you emotionally about who he physically is attracted to? Assuming he is homosexual, he will need support when he “comes out” and he would really appreciate it if you can support him as his mother. After all a mother’s job is to accept their children no matter what!

As for his father, perhaps you ought to work on softening him up before your son “comes out”. And even if you cannot help his dad change his attitude, being there for your son will be less heartbreaking for him. It already is not easy to be different, let alone having to bear difficulties with both your parents.

Try to not judge him for his sexual preferences but to accept for what he always was and will be -  YOUR SON!

“My 15 year old daughter wants to go to a concert. At first I said an immediate NO and she retorted that I don’t trust her. This left me thinking. What should I do?”.

First of all, some concerts have minimum age limits and ID may be required.

Secondly, your instincts said to say NO and you are only questioning it because she pushed you. As a teenager, it is her instinct to push you for more. It is a good survival instinct but your motherly instinct is even more important.

I am sure there are many reasons you do not want her to attend, sit her down and explain them to her. It will help build bridges rather than cause further rift.

Remember this is not about trust or lack of but about your daughter’s safety.

“My boyfriend keeps saying he will leave his wife. It has been 3 years. What can I do to make him leave her quicker?”

Your boyfriend is a married man. There is a reason he has not yet left his wife… and it is probably because he has no intention to. There is no point in trying to hurry him as it is unlikely that he will leave her. Unless you are happy with the status quo (and you do not seem to be), perhaps you might want to look into other options.

“I really want to take my family on holiday but it is not easy coming up with something that suits everyone. Do you have any suggestions?”

There are a whole range of holidays you can take. A nice holiday in the sun is always a fun treat. Everyone loves the beach, the sun and the sea. Just remember to take the sunscreen.

Another alternative would be getting a cheap flight to Orlando to visit Disney World. There is always something for everyone young and old! And so far I have never heard of anyone being disappointed with going to disney world!

“I am in a tight financial situation this Christmas as we had a ridiculous amount of unexpected expenses. I don’t want the kids to go without this Christmas but do not know what to do?”

First of all if your children are old enough to understand, you could explain things to them. If they are too young to understand then they probably have not yet understood the concept of our commercial Christmases.

However, if you really cannot face not buying Christmas presents for the children, you could always try getting an Unsecured Line of Credit. These tend to be easy and fast to get. However they are best suited for a short term loan rather than long term. Only take out the loan if you really feel that you can afford to pay it back.

Remember there are things you can make and do that cost practically nothing and will not detract from the joy of Christmas.

“I want a Laptop for Christmas. My parents don’t want to get me one. They say it is too big a gift. I told them I need it for school and they still refused. How can I get them to give me one?”

Your parents are right in the fact that a laptop is a big gift. Laptops are very expensive. Trying to coerce them into buying it for you is not nice and very disrespectful too.

If you really need a pc perhaps you ought to consider a desktop rather than a laptop, as they can be substantially cheaper.

If you are a teenager, you could get a part-time job and start saving to buy one. Your parents are more likely to partially fund a pc than fully pay for it.

Why don’t you take a look at websites to see just how large a gift you want. A good place to start could be PC World. You could also ask your aunts, uncles, grandparents and anyone who asks you what you would like for a cash gift to go towards your pc. You could also ask for individual parts eg a tower, a monitor, a cd reader, a modem etc. If you split it up, it won’t seem so big and you might have yourself a Merry Christmas after all.