Cupidopolis

“I think my son is a homosexual. His dad would disown him and I am not sure how I feel. How do I deal with it?”.

First of all, until you are sure, there is very little you can do other than broach the subject with your son.

As for your feelings, does it really make a difference to you emotionally about who he physically is attracted to? Assuming he is homosexual, he will need support when he “comes out” and he would really appreciate it if you can support him as his mother. After all a mother’s job is to accept their children no matter what!

As for his father, perhaps you ought to work on softening him up before your son “comes out”. And even if you cannot help his dad change his attitude, being there for your son will be less heartbreaking for him. It already is not easy to be different, let alone having to bear difficulties with both your parents.

Try to not judge him for his sexual preferences but to accept for what he always was and will be -  YOUR SON!

“I am not in love with my boyfriend but I do not want to end up on my own. I do not know what to do. Should I split up? Should I try to find someone first, then break up?”.

It is not fair on your boyfriend to stay with him when you so obviously do not love him. Nor is it fair on yourself. Breaking up is always hard to do but it inevitably should be done for both your sakes.

“My boyfriend keeps saying he will leave his wife. It has been 3 years. What can I do to make him leave her quicker?”

Your boyfriend is a married man. There is a reason he has not yet left his wife… and it is probably because he has no intention to. There is no point in trying to hurry him as it is unlikely that he will leave her. Unless you are happy with the status quo (and you do not seem to be), perhaps you might want to look into other options.

It is not always about sad things. Birthdays are a great way of marking someone’s birthday. It is a way of saying, you know I am really happy that you were born. You make a difference to my life.

There are many ways of marking someone’s birthday and they need not cost the earth. Make a card, bake a cake or even buy a small token gift that could be appreciated. Even sending a text can make that person’s day. So don’t forget anyone’s birthday!

“I am a 42 year old man who is single. I have difficulty when it comes to dating. I really try but cannot ask a girl out. I particularly like Russian women but they seem unattainable. It would be really nice to have a relationship. What should I do?”

Sometimes dating can be hard but it is about getting yourself out there onto the market. If you find you have difficulties asking women out directly, you could try a dating site. This eleminates asking out people who are simply not interested and you can date someone with things in common.

Although you might have a penchant for Russian women, you must ask yourself if you like them because they are out of your league (far away / language barrier / unlikely to meet) and so less likely to face rejection. If this is not the case, you will find dating services that can cater to your needs.

I would still recommend dating someone based on friendship and not nationality!

“My boyfriend does not want to use a condom and I don’t want to get pregnant. He says that he will ejaculate outside me and that I cannot get pregnant. My friend said that I still can. Who is right?”

Let me start by saying that it only takes 1 sperm to get you pregnant. Before ejaculation or orgasm occurs there are often sperm at the tip of the penis. So, to answer your question YES you can get pregnant if you do not use a condom even if he ejaculates outside your vagina.

However there are more issues than getting pregnant. You can contract STD’s – Sexually Transmitted Diseases. These can effect your fertility eg Chlamydia to even kill you eg HIV / AIDS.

If you are in a relationship and can be sure that your partner is completely faithful, you can always use alternative methods of protection such as :-

• The Pill
• The Diaphram
• Spermicide
• IUD / Coil
• Implant
• Sterilization

Why not head to your GP or Nurse for some advice on contraceptives that is best suited to your needs? Alternatively, you can purchase online also. (See the link below)

“My boyfriend occassionally drinks and then hits me. He is always sorry about and I keep forgiving him. But I am scared he will do it again. Don’t tell me to leave him because I love him. How can I get him to stop hitting me?”

I know this is not what you want to hear but he will keep hitting you. He won’t stop. He does not love you because if he did, he would not hit you. You have to leave him. If it happened once, perhaps you could try again but you know it keeps happening. When will you leave him, when you are carried off in a coffin? Or when perhaps you have a baby and they carry your baby off in a coffin?

“I have a crush on David Beckham. I am 35 and so feel embarrassed about it.”

Having a crush is a normal emotion even at 35. There is nothing to be embarrassed about a crush. Perhaps what can be embarrassing is who you have the crush on!

“My husband comes home, eats and goes straight to his computer. He is there all night and only comes to bed when he is knackered. I feel like he is a piece of the furniture. I cannot seem to get his attention. It is really begining to bother me.”

Ever considered there may be reasons why he does that. Before you do anything, first examine everything else. If you think there are no other reasons for his withdrawal, then play his game.

• Go on MSN and chat him up
• Ask to play a 2 player game with him
• Bet you can beat him at his game
• Send him raunchy pictures of you implying things to come

And if all fails – UNPLUG him!

“I have just had enough of my mum. She is an interfering busybody. She never lets me do what I want to do. She keeps making come home early while all my friends stay out. She reads my emails and my diary. She won’t even let me lock my door. She never gives me any privacy. I hate my mum!”

Your mum probably really loves you. I know it may seem uncaring and interfering that she is always in your face, but she is only doing it because she loves you. She wants to do everything she can to protect you. She probably is not even sure how she can do it. She is also trying to remain in your life.

Try talking to her and opening up. Tell her how you feel. Show her that there is nothing to worry about and that you can understand her. You will find that as you build a trust together she won’t be so invasive. But remember TRUST is built on respect and loyalty. It is 2 ways. You cannot expect her to trust you if you do things to break her trust.

Do sit down and talk to her. You never know, things can only improve.