“I walked in on my daughter masturbating. How do I handle it?”.
Masturbation is normal and healthy. It was probably embarrassing for the both of you. You should take this opportunity to bring up safe sex and to be forthcoming about sex. Having an open parent is always great and statistically shows than children with open parents are less likely to have teenage pregnancy or other sexual issues.
As humans we are forever searching for happiness. Yet happiness is that elusive thing where the more you search for it, the less you will find it. Happiness is a result of gratefulness for what you do have and not for what you would like to have.
A good example is that many people expect they will be happy if they win the lottery yet strangely enough most people who do win the lottery tend to discover greater unhappiness and long for the days when they were really happy with what they had. Often the money does not last and things cannot return to what they were.
So the lesson is in learning to be happy with the things you do have whether it be health, a roof over your head or even your child throwing a smile your way!
It is the end of the scholastic year and a number of teenagers will be leaving school. This is always a major milestone for both the parents and the school leaver.
Leaving school is a step into adult-hood and into the real world. Decisions about what to do with one’s life comes into play, and they should not be taken lightly by either the parent or the school leaver. A school consellor can help with career paths but the psychological path must be edged on by the parents.
This is definately not a time to under estimate the emotional upheaval of the whole stage. Talking about it always helps. Remember this is a truly positive time.
In my work I have been shocked by how many people practise unsafe sex. Let me not talk about the psychology of unsafe sex because I can write a book on that rather than a short post. The point about unsafe sex is that it is, simply put – UNSAFE!
Ok so what exactly is unsafe in unsafe sex:-
So what do you need to do to practise safe sex? You can abstain from sex which is the most effective, though I do understand that this is impracticable. The next best thing is to use a condom as this is the most effective way to have safe sex.
We all struggle with emotions. Some people suppress them, others need to cry to let it all out, while others just try to work through them as they happen.
As long as you are happy with the way you deal with your emotions, then that is great. The only exception would be with suppression. The reason is that you keep suppressing and supressing, till one day the smallest thing would just be too much to handle and it all comes out. It can be much harder to handle then. So do find a way to deal with your emotions whether by talking about it, writing a journal or even just having a good cry!
You would be surprised at how many people are unhappy with their breast size. It all stems from the media and their idea of perfect. If the media had their way, We would all be size 00, tall leggy blondes with pert perfect breasts in a size 34DD.
Breast size really can range from completely flat chested to back achingly big. No matter what size someone is, their breasts will fall into one of the categories of too big / too small / too droopy / too unnatural / etc.
In fact most breasts are not even equally sized. Often the difference is minimal but sometimes the difference could be a couple of cup sizes or more.
The truth is that nature intended breasts for feeding infants, and no matter what natural size you are… you will be able to breast feed. Breasts also keep changing over time. And as for the talk of men prefering bigger breasts to small ones… that is all it is… talk. Men are simply happy with breasts, no matter the size.
It is not easy to learn to love our bodies with all the media portrays but by learning to accept our bodies and learning to love our bodies, it will make us enjoy our bodies more. It will in turn lead us to leading a happier life.
“I have been overweight as long as I can remember. But now I am worried about my health. What can I do?”
There are several stages of being overweight and each stage means different levels of actions should be taken. This would be dependant on your BMI – Body Mass Index. If you BMI is slight above average, the first and most basic steps would be to eat healthily and try to include some exercise.
If you feel you need to lose more than a couple of kilos, you might want to consult your doctor who might be able to recommend more drastic treatment such as medication, gastric banding or liposuction!
Do you know when to walk away? Do you know when to let go? Do you know how to say NO?
More often than not we do not know when to walk away or when to let go or when to say No. We often need to take a step back, review the situation and think about what to do next. Sometimes it might be the hardest thing to do, but knowing you need to take a step in a different direction is already a first step which means you are on your way already.
“I keep hearing voices and I am convinced that there are aliens. My friends laugh at me and say there is no such thing but I know that I hear them and so I know they are there. How can I prove them to my friends?”
I am not going into whether or not there are aliens as honestly I do not know the answer. But if you are hearing voices, you might need to get checked out with your Doctor. Hearing voices may be a symptom of schizophrenia. I am not saying that you are schizophrenic, but you might want to rule it out with your GP. If you are suffering from schizophrenia, your doctor may be able to prescribe some tablets to deal with your illness.
Betting can often be a problem if it gets out of hand. And although there are groups such as gambler anonymous, the point is to not arrive into the situation where you do become a compulsive gambler. Gambling problems are never an easy issue to broach, but if not dealt with can arise into very serious serious problems such as huge financial debts, lies, family problems and stress related issues.
This does not go to say that you should not gamble. After all I seriously believe in a democratic society and freedom of choice. After all a quick flutter can raise your heart rate and give you a sense of excitement. It can even give you a really nice feel good feeling, that can actually even be good for you.
Even simply buying a lottery ticket is gambling, yet most people who buy a ticket are buying a dream. At least for until the draw, you can think “If I win… I will pay my bills, buy a house, get that new gadget, take a round the world holiday, etc !”
The key to gambling is moderation. Good Luck!