Cupidopolis

“Things are going better these days. I blew up at him and it seemed for the first time he realized how big of an issue this is. Every since then, he has been amazing. If I ask him questions about it, he answers honestly, even if he knows it will hurt my feelings. I’m almost positive he has only “slipped up” twice since July, and even then it was minor.

However, this whole situation ruined my libido. I am angry at the way this has affected us. I don’t look at him the same way anymore, and I don’t want him to touch me. I love him more than anything in the world, but our physical relationship has disappeared.

I’m considering counseling for that problem, because I want this to work and I know he does as well. Wish us luck.”

Hi. It is nice to hear that things are actually going quite well. It is never easy especially when pulling yourselves out of a bad patch. Generally it is always easier to sink than swim but you seem to both be swimming.

Counselling can help. But meanwhile you might also find that trying to start anew might help. I know it is not really possible to start from scratch but going out for dates (like when you first started dating) and doing things together (even if washing the dishes), preparing a special meal and lighting the room with Circle E Candles can bring on a touch of romance… which in turn can do wonders for your relationship.

Love is always worth working for… and as long as you both are happy to work for it… you will both prosper. You will have both ups and downs but treasure the ups and work through the downs. You do seem to have something worth the effort. I do wish you both the very best and if you need anything, do not hesitate to contact me again.

Can you believe Christmas is upon us once again. Christmas is probably the most stressful time of year, yet it is supposed to be about family, time together and peace. Personally I tend to treat Christmas like a mini wedding. You need to plan it full scale and schedule what you need to do… so you can enjoy the big day. 

With a wedding you book the date, hall, buy the clothes, wedding favors, order food etc.

Same goes for Christmas (date is fixed and usually so is place - otherwise you would not be stressing), so you need to fit in buying / ordering the food, buying the presents (before Christmas eve - draw up a list) and planning it out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. After all it is a time for family… and sharing the chores gives you all more time together to do fun stuff!!

Now for me to take my own advice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“I am a new mum and I cannot seem to comfort my baby. It is driving me nuts!”

Most mums often feel stressed with a new baby. You are expected to be overjoyed and ecstatic all the time and it would be the case if new mums were not so sleep deprived. Start by taking all the help that you can get whether it is someone looking after the little one for an hour while you get some rest or even if they make you a cup of tea instead of you offering your visitors who come round to visit the baby!

Babies Cry. It is what they do. Sometimes it can be because they suffer from colic (have this checked out with your health visitor). But often they simply need a cuddle. Wrapping a baby in their baby bedding can be very comforting to the baby.

I would also speak to your health visitor in case you are also suffering a touch of baby blues!

Getting married is more stressful than most brides would care to admit. It is pretty normal to find that you end up tearing your hair out because you cannot decide on which unique wedding favors you are going to choose and if you want chocolate cake or fruit cake. Then worrying about the hair that you pulled out!

Seriously speaking, getting married should be a wonderful time. It is not worth getting stressed about it. Take it one step at a time and enjoy every moment. After all, it is not everyday that you get married. Enjoy it and relax!

“When my boyfriend meets up with his friends I keep being ignored. When they are around they are always talking about things like Yamaha rhino parts, racing, bikes, sports and so on. Yet when he joins my friends he always grumbles. I am getting really irritated. Any suggestions?”

Glad to hear it is not a serious issue, especially if this is your only problem. A couple of suggestions include :-

• Have your mates days on the same day - both sets together should give a better balanced conversation.
• You meet your friends while he meets his friends on the same day and neither of you lose out.
• Take a female friend with you when you meet his friends. He should also do the same.
• Speak to your friends girlfriends - they probably have more friendly conversation and are probably in your situation!
• Last but not least speak to your boyfriend because he might also have a suggestion or two!

Good Luck!

“I want to wear Red for my prom but mum thinks I will look like a slut. My friends & I disagree that wearing red will make me look like a slut. What can I do to show her that red is nice? After all it is not like these are my wedding ideas!!”

Mothers usually know best. Mothers usually want what is best for their children.

This is not to say that what your friends are saying is not right. However, you mum has more experience in life. I personally would sit down and have a chat with her and perhaps shop around together. After all there are many dresses and many colours and I am sure that together you can come up with a dress you both approve of.

Besides which, isn’t your prom at the end of the scholastic year? You have plenty of time to decide together.

Good Luck.

“I have cancer. And although I have accepted that I may die from it, I need to prepare myself. I have children and this is the bit I find the hardest. I don’t want them to forget just how much I love them. They are still so young!”

Having any illness is never easy but having a terminal illness is tragic. Unfortunately death is a sad fact of life. The only thing we are ever sure of, is that we will all die at some point. I know this is no consolation but at least you have time to prepare.

Written words can last a life time. Do write each of them a letter to tell them how you feel about them. They will treasure this all of their lives. You can also get them personalised engravable gifts which could be a keepsake. A symbol of your love for them. But most importantly, you need to sit with them and explain to them what you are going through. They too need to be prepared. Children are aware when things are not right. They may even suspect what you are going through, but they do need to hear it from you. You need to sit with them, speak to them and tell them what you feel and most importantly, tell them just how much you love them!

“It is my parents 25th Anniversary and I am stuck for a gift. You see I never imagined they would make it to this stage as they fight a lot. I don’t just want to pick any odd thing but at the same time I want it special. I don’t want to get them a present each either. It feels almost wrong to buy them a gift as they fight so much!”.

Sometimes fighting is what makes the relationship. The fact that they made it to 25 years, especially in a day and age where divorce is so readily available, says something for them. Just because they argue a lot does not mean they don’t love each other. In fact they proved just how special their relationship is by having been together 25 years. You really should celebrate this great occasion.

Their 25th is their Silver Anniversary, so I would recommend getting them something silver. A good couple of silver gifts ideas could be salt & pepper which could represent their contrasts and their being complimentary. Or perhaps a frame with a sentimental photo of perhaps their wedding day.

And most importantly don’t forget to congratulate them. It is not easy reaching such a milestone, especially if they have such an emotional relationship.

“My husband and I have been married a few years. We have been trying to have a baby for a few months but so far no success. Our doctor has told us we must try for 2 years before he can refer us for further treatment, but I want a baby now!”

We do live in a world where we want something and we want it now!! Unfortunately not everything works that way. I do know that saying stop thinking about is absolutely useless, so I won’t say it. However, if you can try to not stress too much, that will help your cause. Stress is known to be one of the biggest inhibitors of pregnancy. (Just in case anyone goes off at a tangent - Stress is not a contraceptive!!)

One of the best ways to beat stress regarding having a baby, is by being proactive. Although doctors do recommend waiting 2 years if you are under 30 before having any tests, there is a lot you can do. The reason doctors say that is because 80% of people will be pregnant by the end of the first year. I would suggest getting a second opinion on getting treatment if you are over 35 or if you do not have periods or if you have any medical problems.

So what can you do to enhance getting pregnant? Here are our suggestions on how to get pregnant fast:-

• Both- Eat right - eating healthy food keeps you healthy and your body needs to be at its optimum
• Men - don’t have hot baths - it lowers sperm counts
• Both - Take Vitamins
• Both - Don’t drink coffee and caffeine drinks
• Both - Have sex! Sounds silly but you would be surprised how the pressure of conceiving reduces how much sex you have.
• Women - Take Folic Acid
• Women - Chart Yourself to find out the best time to get pregnant
• Women - keep your body weight under a BMI of 30

These are just some things you can do to encourage fertility. Obviously not limited to just the above, but a good starting point.

I would also read up about infertility as much as possible. Infertility is such a specialised area, you would be far better off reading a site dedicated to infertility. Child Wish is a great site to start with as it explains all about enhancing your chances of success which is based on using 2 natural products and timing your intercourse to increase your chances.

Meanwhile, enjoy the trying and don’t let it consume your life or let it become a chore!!