Cupidopolis

“My son is driving my car with a learner licence and therefore no insurance. I am worried that he will get caught and go to prison. How can I stop him?”

As you are aware, it is illegal to drive without both a licence and without insurance. On top of which, not only does your son stand a chance of getting a fine and a possible jail sentence but you also run the risk of having your car seized by the police and crushed. That would soon put a stop to his driving but it would also stop your driving.

Do explain the situation to your son as it can affect the rest of his life. You can always offer him an incentive to get his licence like paying for his insurance. You can easily get Discount Car Insurance to cover him. Last but not least, do hide your keys from him to make sure he does not take your car. After all, your car is your responsibility!

“I want a Laptop for Christmas. My parents don’t want to get me one. They say it is too big a gift. I told them I need it for school and they still refused. How can I get them to give me one?”

Your parents are right in the fact that a laptop is a big gift. Laptops are very expensive. Trying to coerce them into buying it for you is not nice and very disrespectful too.

If you really need a pc perhaps you ought to consider a desktop rather than a laptop, as they can be substantially cheaper.

If you are a teenager, you could get a part-time job and start saving to buy one. Your parents are more likely to partially fund a pc than fully pay for it.

Why don’t you take a look at websites to see just how large a gift you want. A good place to start could be PC World. You could also ask your aunts, uncles, grandparents and anyone who asks you what you would like for a cash gift to go towards your pc. You could also ask for individual parts eg a tower, a monitor, a cd reader, a modem etc. If you split it up, it won’t seem so big and you might have yourself a Merry Christmas after all.

“My family is so messy. I am simply going out of my mind. Help me please!”

Most of the time, messiness is a result of lack of storage space. If you can organise some storage solutions, you will find that you are half way there. The rest will boil down to be strict and insisting that until they tidy their mess they cannot get dinner / dessert / go out / do something fun etc! You will need to put your foot down but get organised first so that they cannot have any excuse for not tidying up.

“My son has posters of naked women and who knows what all over his wall. He also has rude Bedroom Door Signs! He is only 14. I do not think it is appropriate behaviour. I have told him to remove them but he refuses saying that it is his room and his space. I feel that he should respect our feelings and take them down. I want to go to his room and rip them down, but my husband says I shouldn’t. I just want to cry. I don’t know what to do!”

Most teenagers have posters on their wall. They tend to have posters of the latest pop groups and singers. You need to see whether these women are completely naked or if they are just skimpily dressed (like most female pop stars!). Your husband and son are right to a certain extent. It is his space but it is your house. You are also right, he needs to respect your feelings.

I know it is not easy, but do try to find some time to actually speak to your son and tell him how you feel. Tell him that it is ok to have pictures of pop groups but not of naked people. Tell him it is ok to have bedroom signs but not offensive ones. It is all about compromise. You both need to compromise and understand how you are each feeling.

“My boyfriend does not want to use a condom and I don’t want to get pregnant. He says that he will ejaculate outside me and that I cannot get pregnant. My friend said that I still can. Who is right?”

Let me start by saying that it only takes 1 sperm to get you pregnant. Before ejaculation or orgasm occurs there are often sperm at the tip of the penis. So, to answer your question YES you can get pregnant if you do not use a condom even if he ejaculates outside your vagina.

However there are more issues than getting pregnant. You can contract STD’s - Sexually Transmitted Diseases. These can effect your fertility eg Chlamydia to even kill you eg HIV / AIDS.

If you are in a relationship and can be sure that your partner is completely faithful, you can always use alternative methods of protection such as :-

• The Pill
• The Diaphram
• Spermicide
• IUD / Coil
• Implant
• Sterilization

Why not head to your GP or Nurse for some advice on contraceptives that is best suited to your needs? Alternatively, you can purchase online also. (See the link below)

“I have not been accepted at University. I am feeling really disappointed. I do not know what to do!”

I am sorry that you have not been accepted at University this year. However, there is always another opportunity next year. Meanwhile, you should make the most of this year as a gap year. You should set aside sometime to improve your results for next year. However, you can make the most of this year by getting work experience and some extra cash to help you through the lean times of university. Or why not go travelling and gaining a world of experience.

You might be surprised, it might work out being a positive thing in the long run!

“I have just had enough of my mum. She is an interfering busybody. She never lets me do what I want to do. She keeps making come home early while all my friends stay out. She reads my emails and my diary. She won’t even let me lock my door. She never gives me any privacy. I hate my mum!”

Your mum probably really loves you. I know it may seem uncaring and interfering that she is always in your face, but she is only doing it because she loves you. She wants to do everything she can to protect you. She probably is not even sure how she can do it. She is also trying to remain in your life.

Try talking to her and opening up. Tell her how you feel. Show her that there is nothing to worry about and that you can understand her. You will find that as you build a trust together she won’t be so invasive. But remember TRUST is built on respect and loyalty. It is 2 ways. You cannot expect her to trust you if you do things to break her trust.

Do sit down and talk to her. You never know, things can only improve.

“I am so bored. I am almost looking forward to school next week. There is nothing to do and I am so bored.”

First of all summer holidays all too soon come to an end. Unfortunately there is very little that you can do at this point, but for next year do consider a part-time summer job. It will keep you from boredom and even earn you some spending money. Do remember boredom makes for idle hands which can lead to trouble.

Try to do something new or learn something new. Take up a hobby or some sport. You will find out that being kept busy will ensure you do not get bored.

I know it does not sound anything like what you want to hear but honestly it is probably the best advice you can get.