Cupidopolis

“My friend has just miscarried. What should I say or do?”

Your friend is probably feeling very low and has to go to a grieving process. Sometimes you do not need to say anything, just by being there for your friend, it can go a long way for her.

Doing small things that can make a difference to her can say alot more than words. A hug also says a lot more than words.

The best thing I can tell you is just be there for her, and bear in mind that she will be grieving as to her losing a baby is just as real as losing a family member.

Good Luck

“I was told that it is safe to have sex if I have never had a period yet as it means that I cannot get pregnant. Is this true?”

Technically speaking, not having a menstrual cycle (period) means that you are not ovulating, which technically speaking means that you cannot conceive.

However, and this is the important factor… people have a menstrual cycle after ovulation. Therefore you can first ovulate without having yet had a period and can conceive before ever having a period.

So although if you do not menstruate, you are not ovulating therefore cannot conceive, you do not know when your first cycle / ovulation will happen, and therefore you may still get pregnant even if you have not had a period to date.

The only ways to prevent pregnancy are abstention (100% safe) or using contraceptives (up to 99.9% safe if used accurately). 

On another note…. if you have not yet had a period, do you really think that you are mature enough to be having sex?

“I have been feeling really old. It does not help that I am overweight too. What can I do?”.

There is plenty that one can do today to feel and look younger. You are right in saying that being overweight does not help. However, as I said, there is a lot that can be done.

Sticking to a calorie controlled diet will aid weight loss and you will immediately start to feel better about yourself. Adding exercise to your daily routine will also be beneficial to your health and well being. This in turn will also help over all.

You will inevitable find that you have problem areas, but with cosmetic surgery today, lots can be done too. You can have procedures like botox, cellulite therapy, semi permanant make-up, electrolysis, etc. Obviously there is a cost involved with cosmetic surgery but even the smallest treatment can make you feel dramatically better. If your budget cannot stretch that far, a facial can also do the trick to helping you feel younger too.

Do bear in mind that while cosmetic surgery is an option to some, it may not be to others. It does not mean to say it is not worth thinking about. Again finance can sometimes be an obstacle, but putting extra effort to save for a treatment, will increase the psychological benefits of the treatment. I do recommend speaking to a professional before embarking on any surgical treatment. Most places such as M Medical Spa would and should have medical and professional staff as part of their team.

Honestly - it is funny!!

I found this card on someecards. I simply could not resist it. Breakdowns & depressions are always so sad and sombre, it does make a change to be light hearted about it all. I think I will keep trying to add a little humour to the website!!

“I thought I would fail my exams, but I didn’t. Now I don’t know what to do, as it would mean having to waste a year because I did not apply for uni! Should I just give up?”.

First of all, giving up is never an option. Even if you do not get in to University this year, you can always take a gap year and gain invaluable experience. However, it is not too late because you can still apply at some Universities with what they call the clearing system. The University of Bedfordshire Clearing 2008 starts on the 14th August and that means that you can apply with them to start university this year. Clearing is when Universities check what places are still available as some people may have been offered places at multiple Universities. So you still have the chance to do something about it.

Good Luck and congratulations on your exam results.

I thought I would write a short note about dieting. Most of us at some point or other try dieting. A good percentage actually give up within a few days. The question is why does this happen and what can we do to minimise this?

First of all, after a few days of reducing food intake, your body starts trying to conserve energy and protects itself. This does mean that we do feel a bit lethargic and often feel a bit depressed. Chocolate immediate alleviates this, but it means we lose our diet plan.

The thing to do is to ensure that we do not feel hungry. This can be achieved by drinking our 8 glasses of water or more and eating lots of low fat food such as raw / steamed / boiled vegetables. Then to include a little of what we fancy. A 2 fingered kitkat for example is only around 100 calories. So we can have our kitkat and eat it!!

And last but not least, always keep in mind your goal. I do promise that after a few days of sticking to a diet, you do see results. Your energy levels go up too. And losing weight, well, it is incentive enough to continue. If you manage the first few days… you will succeed.

And most importantly - GOOD LUCK!!

“I have been told that I must wear specs. I am too afraid to wear lenses and I really do not want to wear glasses as I will look ugly!”.

Let us take things one step at a time. You can ask your optician in future to show you how to wear lenses. Do not be afraid as it is quite normal to feel hesitant when you try something new and scary. It gets easier with practise.

But meanwhile who said you would look ugly with specs? You can get some pretty funky specs nowadays. In fact you can get some pretty incredible stylish new frames from Zenni such as Zenni Optical $ 8 Rx Eyeglasses. And at only $8 you won’t mind if you do overcome your fear of lenses and start using lenses.

Wearing specs is the latest thing to do. Celebrities including the following have all been seen wearing specs. And if they make it look cool, then you can be sure that everyone will want to be wearing specs!

• Anastacia
• Jennifer Aniston
• Michelle Pfiffer
• Ronan Keating
• Sophia Loren
• Demi Moore
• Kylie
• Chris Evans
• Anne Robinson
• Ralph Schumacher
• Harry Hill
• Vic Reeves
• Austin Powers
• Harry Potter
• Ruby Wax
• Elton John
• David Beckham

Do you need more to prove that wearing glasses is not uncool? Well Zenni Optical was on FOX News, does not prove that specs are news?

Time is the best healer of all. I know that the last thing you want anyone to say is “time is a great healer”, but truly it is.

When dealing with issues we need to learn to accept our mistakes and learn from them. We need to forgive the people who hurt us in order to accept things. And last but not least it is Time that will ease the pain and help us accept.

With grief there are stages we have to go through, but for everything else, it is all about acceptance. And for both… it takes TIME!

It is not unheard of that a person finds out that a child they thought was theirs, is not actually their biological child. This does not mean that the child is no longer theirs. The child will know the parent as their parent and the love a child has for their parents knows no limit. Often these hurt parents retaliate by abandoning the kids but this means that the child gets hurt in the process.

The child might not be biologically theirs but before they knew that the child was not biologically theirs, did they not grow to love the child? Seeing it from a different perspective, an adopted child is not biologically the adoptive parents but do they love them any less… NO! So essentially there is no difference.

The thing to remember is the child is the one who will be hurt the most by the whole situation.

“I walked in on my daughter masturbating. How do I handle it?”.

Masturbation is normal and healthy. It was probably embarrassing for the both of you. You should take this opportunity to bring up safe sex and to be forthcoming about sex. Having an open parent is always great and statistically shows than children with open parents are less likely to have teenage pregnancy or other sexual issues.