Preparing

“I have cancer. And although I have accepted that I may die from it, I need to prepare myself. I have children and this is the bit I find the hardest. I don’t want them to forget just how much I love them. They are still so young!”

Having any illness is never easy but having a terminal illness is tragic. Unfortunately death is a sad fact of life. The only thing we are ever sure of, is that we will all die at some point. I know this is no consolation but at least you have time to prepare.

Written words can last a life time. Do write each of them a letter to tell them how you feel about them. They will treasure this all of their lives. You can also get them personalised engravable gifts which could be a keepsake. A symbol of your love for them. But most importantly, you need to sit with them and explain to them what you are going through. They too need to be prepared. Children are aware when things are not right. They may even suspect what you are going through, but they do need to hear it from you. You need to sit with them, speak to them and tell them what you feel and most importantly, tell them just how much you love them!

Silver Anniversary

“It is my parents 25th Anniversary and I am stuck for a gift. You see I never imagined they would make it to this stage as they fight a lot. I don’t just want to pick any odd thing but at the same time I want it special. I don’t want to get them a present each either. It feels almost wrong to buy them a gift as they fight so much!”.

Sometimes fighting is what makes the relationship. The fact that they made it to 25 years, especially in a day and age where divorce is so readily available, says something for them. Just because they argue a lot does not mean they don’t love each other. In fact they proved just how special their relationship is by having been together 25 years. You really should celebrate this great occasion.

Their 25th is their Silver Anniversary, so I would recommend getting them something silver. A good couple of silver gifts ideas could be salt & pepper which could represent their contrasts and their being complimentary. Or perhaps a frame with a sentimental photo of perhaps their wedding day.

And most importantly don’t forget to congratulate them. It is not easy reaching such a milestone, especially if they have such an emotional relationship.

Baby Blues

“My husband and I have been married a few years. We have been trying to have a baby for a few months but so far no success. Our doctor has told us we must try for 2 years before he can refer us for further treatment, but I want a baby now!”

We do live in a world where we want something and we want it now!! Unfortunately not everything works that way. I do know that saying stop thinking about is absolutely useless, so I won’t say it. However, if you can try to not stress too much, that will help your cause. Stress is known to be one of the biggest inhibitors of pregnancy. (Just in case anyone goes off at a tangent – Stress is not a contraceptive!!)

One of the best ways to beat stress regarding having a baby, is by being proactive. Although doctors do recommend waiting 2 years if you are under 30 before having any tests, there is a lot you can do. The reason doctors say that is because 80% of people will be pregnant by the end of the first year. I would suggest getting a second opinion on getting treatment if you are over 35 or if you do not have periods or if you have any medical problems.

So what can you do to enhance getting pregnant? Here are our suggestions on how to get pregnant fast:-

  • Both- Eat right – eating healthy food keeps you healthy and your body needs to be at its optimum
  • Men – don’t have hot baths – it lowers sperm counts
  • Both – Take Vitamins
  • Both – Don’t drink coffee and caffeine drinks
  • Both – Have sex! Sounds silly but you would be surprised how the pressure of conceiving reduces how much sex you have.
  • Women – Take Folic Acid
  • Women – Chart Yourself to find out the best time to get pregnant
  • Women – keep your body weight under a BMI of 30

These are just some things you can do to encourage fertility. Obviously not limited to just the above, but a good starting point.

I would also read up about infertility as much as possible. Infertility is such a specialised area, you would be far better off reading a site dedicated to infertility. Child Wish is a great site to start with as it explains all about enhancing your chances of success which is based on using 2 natural products and timing your intercourse to increase your chances.

Meanwhile, enjoy the trying and don’t let it consume your life or let it become a chore!!

Gifted

“I think my child is gifted. She seems so much more capable than her friends her age. I think she is really intelligent. Is there anyway I can confirm this? What can I do for her?”.

First of all, have a word with her school teachers. They can give you feedback which will help confirm your suspicions.

Intelligence is measured as Intelligence Quotient. The average IQ score being around 100. You can find out your child’s score by her sitting for some standardised tests. However, most tests are aimed at adults and it is harder to be accurate with children’s scores. This is not to say that you cannot get a score, but it can fluctuate according to your child’s experiences to date.

Gifted people in the 98th Percentile can join MENSA.

However, even if your daughter does not reach the 98th percentile, she can still be gifted. Encouraging her to read and do things will help her, both now and in the future. Finding time to spend with her and answering all her questions will also help her tremendously.

Good Luck

Insect Phobia

“My 2 year old daughter was stung by a bee and is now terrified of insects. She will get really upset if any insect goes near her. It is becoming a real struggle as there are insects everywhere!”

I would start by first acknowledging the fact that an insect hurt her. I would then explain that the insect was a bee. I would also go on to explain that the bee was afraid that it would be be hurt by her and that stinging was his way of protecting himself. I would then show her that not all insects are to be afraid of and pick them up and play with them. Good examples are ants, ladybirds and snails.

If you are afraid of any insects yourself (such as spiders) do not let on or you will give her cause to deepen her fear because Mummy / Daddy etc are also afraid.

It will take time, but do persist or it may worsen.

As with all phobias, hypnotherapy may help but I would be hesitant to try hypnotherapy on someone so young.

Good Luck

Dead End Job

“I am 29 and stuck in a dead end job. I know this way I have an income but it is not a good income. I cannot see any career possibilities as the next step is taking my bosses job, which honestly I cannot see happening! I like what I do, but I have no security and no prospects. What should I do?”

Sometimes what we know is what we feel safe with. We know the pros and the cons. And the saying better the devil you know, refers exactly to this situation. You need to sit down and weigh up what your choices are and then decide. Points to consider can include (but are not limited to) the following:-

  • If I leave, what is the worst that can happen?
  • Am I happy to still be here in 5 / 10 years times?
  • Would a pay rise be enough?
  • Can I explain what I feel to my boss?
  • How about looking for a job before handing in notice?
  • What about quiting and just work at looking for a job?
  • What are your outgoings? eg you need to pay your rent / mortgage, food, electricity, children
  • What will you be happy with? eg increased pay, improved contract, better working hours, more holidays
  • Is there another option that you think will suit you better?