Cupidopolis

“I think I am going through the menopause, but how can I be certain. I have major mood swings but no hot flushes like you hear about. I am only 43!”.

During the Menopause you go through a change in hormones, hence the mood swings. There are various symptoms to going through the menopause but you do not necessarily have to experience all of them. We each experience the menopause differently and it is individual to each of us. Even the age we are at when we go through the menopause and how long it lasts.

Symptoms associated with the menopause include but are not limited to:-

• Irregular vaginal bleeding
• Hot flashes & night sweats
• Emotional and cognitive symptoms
• Vaginal symptoms
• Urinary symptoms
• Other physical changes

There are different treatments for the menopause if you find that you cannot cope. Do speak to your doctor about what steps to take. You can consider one or more of the following treatments:-

•  
  • Hormone therapy
  • Other medical therapies
  • Alternative therapies
  • Non-hormone therapies

The choice will be up to you, but your GP will be able to help you with your personal choices and can help explain things further.

Remember this is a time of change. If you accept the change, it will be easier on you in the long run.

“I am 29 and stuck in a dead end job. I know this way I have an income but it is not a good income. I cannot see any career possibilities as the next step is taking my bosses job, which honestly I cannot see happening! I like what I do, but I have no security and no prospects. What should I do?”

Sometimes what we know is what we feel safe with. We know the pros and the cons. And the saying better the devil you know, refers exactly to this situation. You need to sit down and weigh up what your choices are and then decide. Points to consider can include (but are not limited to) the following:-

• If I leave, what is the worst that can happen?
• Am I happy to still be here in 5 / 10 years times?
• Would a pay rise be enough?
• Can I explain what I feel to my boss?
• How about looking for a job before handing in notice?
• What about quiting and just work at looking for a job?
• What are your outgoings? eg you need to pay your rent / mortgage, food, electricity, children
• What will you be happy with? eg increased pay, improved contract, better working hours, more holidays
• Is there another option that you think will suit you better?

“My friend has just miscarried. What should I say or do?”

Your friend is probably feeling very low and has to go to a grieving process. Sometimes you do not need to say anything, just by being there for your friend, it can go a long way for her.

Doing small things that can make a difference to her can say alot more than words. A hug also says a lot more than words.

The best thing I can tell you is just be there for her, and bear in mind that she will be grieving as to her losing a baby is just as real as losing a family member.

Good Luck

“I have been feeling really old. It does not help that I am overweight too. What can I do?”.

There is plenty that one can do today to feel and look younger. You are right in saying that being overweight does not help. However, as I said, there is a lot that can be done.

Sticking to a calorie controlled diet will aid weight loss and you will immediately start to feel better about yourself. Adding exercise to your daily routine will also be beneficial to your health and well being. This in turn will also help over all.

You will inevitable find that you have problem areas, but with cosmetic surgery today, lots can be done too. You can have procedures like botox, cellulite therapy, semi permanant make-up, electrolysis, etc. Obviously there is a cost involved with cosmetic surgery but even the smallest treatment can make you feel dramatically better. If your budget cannot stretch that far, a facial can also do the trick to helping you feel younger too.

Do bear in mind that while cosmetic surgery is an option to some, it may not be to others. It does not mean to say it is not worth thinking about. Again finance can sometimes be an obstacle, but putting extra effort to save for a treatment, will increase the psychological benefits of the treatment. I do recommend speaking to a professional before embarking on any surgical treatment. Most places such as M Medical Spa would and should have medical and professional staff as part of their team.

Honestly - it is funny!!

I found this card on someecards. I simply could not resist it. Breakdowns & depressions are always so sad and sombre, it does make a change to be light hearted about it all. I think I will keep trying to add a little humour to the website!!

“I thought I would fail my exams, but I didn’t. Now I don’t know what to do, as it would mean having to waste a year because I did not apply for uni! Should I just give up?”.

First of all, giving up is never an option. Even if you do not get in to University this year, you can always take a gap year and gain invaluable experience. However, it is not too late because you can still apply at some Universities with what they call the clearing system. The University of Bedfordshire Clearing 2008 starts on the 14th August and that means that you can apply with them to start university this year. Clearing is when Universities check what places are still available as some people may have been offered places at multiple Universities. So you still have the chance to do something about it.

Good Luck and congratulations on your exam results.

I thought I would write a short note about dieting. Most of us at some point or other try dieting. A good percentage actually give up within a few days. The question is why does this happen and what can we do to minimise this?

First of all, after a few days of reducing food intake, your body starts trying to conserve energy and protects itself. This does mean that we do feel a bit lethargic and often feel a bit depressed. Chocolate immediate alleviates this, but it means we lose our diet plan.

The thing to do is to ensure that we do not feel hungry. This can be achieved by drinking our 8 glasses of water or more and eating lots of low fat food such as raw / steamed / boiled vegetables. Then to include a little of what we fancy. A 2 fingered kitkat for example is only around 100 calories. So we can have our kitkat and eat it!!

And last but not least, always keep in mind your goal. I do promise that after a few days of sticking to a diet, you do see results. Your energy levels go up too. And losing weight, well, it is incentive enough to continue. If you manage the first few days… you will succeed.

And most importantly - GOOD LUCK!!

Time is the best healer of all. I know that the last thing you want anyone to say is “time is a great healer”, but truly it is.

When dealing with issues we need to learn to accept our mistakes and learn from them. We need to forgive the people who hurt us in order to accept things. And last but not least it is Time that will ease the pain and help us accept.

With grief there are stages we have to go through, but for everything else, it is all about acceptance. And for both… it takes TIME!

“I walked in on my daughter masturbating. How do I handle it?”.

Masturbation is normal and healthy. It was probably embarrassing for the both of you. You should take this opportunity to bring up safe sex and to be forthcoming about sex. Having an open parent is always great and statistically shows than children with open parents are less likely to have teenage pregnancy or other sexual issues.

As humans we are forever searching for happiness. Yet happiness is that elusive thing where the more you search for it, the less you will find it. Happiness is a result of gratefulness for what you do have and not for what you would like to have.

A good example is that many people expect they will be happy if they win the lottery yet strangely enough most people who do win the lottery tend to discover greater unhappiness and long for the days when they were really happy with what they had. Often the money does not last and things cannot return to what they were.

So the lesson is in learning to be happy with the things you do have whether it be health, a roof over your head or even your child throwing a smile your way!