Cupidopolis

“My son is driving my car with a learner licence and therefore no insurance. I am worried that he will get caught and go to prison. How can I stop him?”

As you are aware, it is illegal to drive without both a licence and without insurance. On top of which, not only does your son stand a chance of getting a fine and a possible jail sentence but you also run the risk of having your car seized by the police and crushed. That would soon put a stop to his driving but it would also stop your driving.

Do explain the situation to your son as it can affect the rest of his life. You can always offer him an incentive to get his licence like paying for his insurance. You can easily get Discount Car Insurance to cover him. Last but not least, do hide your keys from him to make sure he does not take your car. After all, your car is your responsibility!

“I enjoy a couple of glasses of wine at night. My friends have said I am an alcoholic. How can I prove to them I am not. I only drink a couple of glasses at night!”

We often think of alcoholics as constant drunks, people who start drinking from the moment they wake up. Sadly this is just an extreme case of alcoholism. Being an alcoholic is about dependency on drink. It often starts with a must have drink every night and then proceeds to lunch and before you know it are dependant on alcohol.

I cannot tell your friends that you are not an alcoholic. But I would suggest that you take a look at your drinking situation. Are you drinking every night. Can you go a couple of nights without any wine? Can you try to cut down to perhaps a couple of drinks at weekends? If you have any difficulty with cutting down, then perhaps you do have an alcohol problem. Like with most problems, it will be wise to seek appropriate help. Joining a club like the AA (alcoholics anonymous) would be a first step to admitting you have a problem. If you still feel that you do not have such a problem, do have a chat with your nurse or GP who may be able to offer you further insight and examine how much of a problem / issue you really do have.

By taking these steps, you will also be helping reassuring your friends, who incidentally seem to be good friends.

“My husband wants me to get him National Final Rodeo tickets for his birthday, and he wants me to go with him. I am not sure that I want to go. Should I just buy him something else?”

I am not going to say what you should do and what you should not do. What I am going to do is give you some points to ponder and some other possible options. The choice will be up to you.

First of all, just buying him another gift without consulting him, seems a bit disrespectful. He is also likely to be very disappointed if he got a different gift especially if it is something which does not appeal to him.

Have you considered getting him a couple of tickets and suggesting he takes a friend who will appreciate it instead of you?

Try to speak to him and tell him how you feel. You might be surprised what other options he might come up with.

Last but not least, consider going with him. Perhaps he can return the favour and go with you somewhere he is not keen to go eg the ballet or theatre or that Spice Girls concert! It is a win win situation!

“I was in a shop and ended up getting hurt. I cannot do much till I get better and I am feeling depressed. I was told that I could sue them and get some money.”

You could get try to go to court and get Commercial Lawsuit Finance but I am not the best person to speak to. You should ideally speak to a lawyer. However, you should be aware that even if you are awarded a sum of money this might not make any difference to how you are feeling. You might wish to mention it to your lawyers, as they may be able to organise finance to fund some therapy dealing with your depression.

Christmas is a time for giving. Giving needs not be material. You do not need to spend money to give. It can really be the thought that counts. Things like Breakfast in bed, a warm bath in candle light, fixing that thing you have been meaning to fix, a surprise picnic, visiting friends and family, etc can really make someones day.

Also remember that Christmas is a time “for giving”. Try to forgive and forget. Use Christmas as an excuse to make peace. If we cannot make peace with our friends and family, how can we expect no wars?

May your Christmas be blessed and full of forgiveness too.

“I’m fat and hate myself. I am a size 24 and feel like a big blob! I was not always so big which makes it worse because I can remember what it was like to be thin. But I get so depressed all I want to do is eat!”

Being overweight can be very upsetting. But once you have decided that you have had enough of being overweight, there are steps that you can do to help combat your weight problem. There are a number of suggestions that I shall list below. These will all help towards your achieving your goal target. The more you do, the better and the faster your chances of success are.

• First of all you may want to speak to a nutritionist. They will help you choose a target weight and the route to go. You can get referred to one from your GP. Alternatively, your GP may be able to help.
• Join a gym or dance class. You need exercise. It speeds up metabolism and increases your calorie burn rate. If a gym is too expensive, grab a friend and go for a daily walk of a minimum of half an hour.
• Cut out Junk Food and Fried Foods.
• Cut out snacks or replace with Fruit.
• Reduce your carbohydrate intake (Pasta, Bread, Potatoes and Rice)
• Increase vegetable intake (without butter or dressing unless fat free)
• Keep 2 pictures handy – One of “fat” you and one of “slim” you. You can use someone else’s body with your head on top for inspiration.
• Do NOT weigh yourself more than once a week.
• Sign up to a diet club like weight watchers or Tesco eDiets.
• Make it a lifestyle change or the weight will go back on.
• Set reasonable goal targets and treat yourself (not with food) when you reach them.
• Try competing with a friend!

“Money never stretches to the end of the month. I know you cannot help me because I am sure that you won’t give me money. But it gets so stressful at the end of the money I never know what to do. And now Christmas is everywhere!”

Payday Loans could probably help you through the odd month here and there to cover those stop gap periods when the unexpected happens. However you must not rely on the solely. You must learn to budget. Cut out those unnecessary expenses and start trying to save. Even saving

“I want a Laptop for Christmas. My parents don’t want to get me one. They say it is too big a gift. I told them I need it for school and they still refused. How can I get them to give me one?”

Your parents are right in the fact that a laptop is a big gift. Laptops are very expensive. Trying to coerce them into buying it for you is not nice and very disrespectful too.

If you really need a pc perhaps you ought to consider a desktop rather than a laptop, as they can be substantially cheaper.

If you are a teenager, you could get a part-time job and start saving to buy one. Your parents are more likely to partially fund a pc than fully pay for it.

Why don’t you take a look at websites to see just how large a gift you want. A good place to start could be PC World. You could also ask your aunts, uncles, grandparents and anyone who asks you what you would like for a cash gift to go towards your pc. You could also ask for individual parts eg a tower, a monitor, a cd reader, a modem etc. If you split it up, it won’t seem so big and you might have yourself a Merry Christmas after all.

“My children want a Puppy for Christmas. The truth is I do not want to be lumbered with looking after another being and I am not sure that they will want the responsibilities that come with Puppies!”

The saying is A Dog is for life and not just for Christmas! Get your kids one of these stickers and explain your thoughts and feelings. Perhaps you can puppy / dog sit a friends dog for a week or two (perhaps when they head off for holidays) and ensure the children do everything that having a dog entails eg feeding, washing, walking and poop cleaning! I think after a couple of weeks, the kids would lose interest unless they are really ready.

An alternative is getting a cyber pet. Places like The Gadget Shop or I want one of those Ltd sell them.

“My son has posters of naked women and who knows what all over his wall. He also has rude Bedroom Door Signs! He is only 14. I do not think it is appropriate behaviour. I have told him to remove them but he refuses saying that it is his room and his space. I feel that he should respect our feelings and take them down. I want to go to his room and rip them down, but my husband says I shouldn’t. I just want to cry. I don’t know what to do!”

Most teenagers have posters on their wall. They tend to have posters of the latest pop groups and singers. You need to see whether these women are completely naked or if they are just skimpily dressed (like most female pop stars!). Your husband and son are right to a certain extent. It is his space but it is your house. You are also right, he needs to respect your feelings.

I know it is not easy, but do try to find some time to actually speak to your son and tell him how you feel. Tell him that it is ok to have pictures of pop groups but not of naked people. Tell him it is ok to have bedroom signs but not offensive ones. It is all about compromise. You both need to compromise and understand how you are each feeling.